Just the other day I was riding in the car with a friend of mine. She was talking about how well she practices the Law of Attraction but she can’t seem to get things to go how she wants them. Then the subject changed to her boyfriend and that’s when I found out she was an Armchair LOA Practitioner (or ALOAP)!

Many people love the concept of the Law of Attraction: “Think about what you want and it comes right to you…wow…what a concept!” But as we all know there is much more to it than just thinking. There are the many negative emotions we have to be careful of; the thinking and feeling of being grateful in what is sometimes a less-than-grateful situation, focusing on your desires (not on the don’t wants of life), living a joyful life in spite of what is seemingly around you, releasing negative mental patterns, and being ready to take action when the Universe provides you a perfect opportunity for your desire to manifest.

These are just a few of the many steps in the Law of Attraction. Some people decide that they will quit whenever applying the Law of Attraction intentionally seems to become a more little complicated. But in fact it is all very simple…you have to work on your inner self and then your outer world will become what you feel from within.

When my friend began to talk about her boyfriend she told me how arrogant he could be when he is on the phone with customers. (He’s in marketing) She said it upsets her so much and they argue about it. Then she says to me, “But I allow. I practice the LOA with him so I am allowing. Not condoning, mind you, but allowing his thoughts.” Then she proceeds to tell me that he frustrates her when he doesn’t call when he is going to be late.

My friend is an Armchair Law of Attraction Practitioner. My ALOAP friend talks about her boyfriend negatively and puts all those feelings and thoughts out to the Universe and then says that she ‘allows’ him to be who he is. Then she continues to tell how wrong he is. She is not allowing. Allowing means to observe another’s behavior and let them be who they are without any opinion from you and ‘letting their behavior go’ so that it doesn’t affect your world that you create.

An ALOAP knows all the buzz words and knows what should be focused on but doesn’t put any of it into action. They just say what they know about the Law of Attraction without taking any of the steps to apply it.

You have to be an active part of the Law of Attraction. Applying the Law of Attraction intentionally is only theory until you practice what you preach. Sure the Law of Attraction works whether you apply it or not but when you begin to delve into what it takes to intentionally apply it; there is work to be done on the inner you.

It won’t get done by sitting in the armchair and pontificating about how well the Law of Attraction will work. Take action, apply the LOA, and your life will become the life that you have always dreamed of.

I have this family member that no matter what is happening in his life, he complains. Whether he has a good day or a bad day, he lets everyone know how bad his life is, and it continues to be just as he says. He lets you know about every person in his life that has let him down. Everyone else is responsible for all his woes.

Being a Law of Attraction practitioner and instructor makes it a little uncomfortable to talk with him. No matter what you say to him, no matter how much you try to lean him toward thinking that life isn’t so bad, he just gets frustrated and tells you how the world is going to end. He revels in blaming everyone else for what he calls “his rotten life”.

Usually when we have a family get together, he is unable to make it. He blames it on his car, or on his boss, or on his wife. It’s actually kind of a visualization joke with us. About a couple of weeks before we have a family event, we start visualizing a calm, serene, positive, and fun-filled family get together. We wonder if our certain family member will have gotten into a better space for the get together. We include our bemoaning family member in our visualizations but he doesn’t show up. He can’t stand to be around that many happy people.

I would love nothing more than to see him happy but I am not responsible for making him happy and I am not responsible for creating ‘his’ world. He

is responsible for making his own happiness and creating his own world.

There are a lot of people who blame others for the current state of their lives. How can someone else be responsible for another’s life? (Unless of course it’s a child/parent relationship)

It’s a hard pill to swallow but if you have a bad day, you are the one who created that day. It’s not necessarily intentional, but all the same, you do create it. It is usually created from past images and feelings that you previously put out and have returned as your ‘now’. Take responsibility for your feelings and what you are focusing on and create each day, the kind of day that you would like to live for the rest of your life.

Take responsibility when you blame someone else in your life. Look at the situation and figure out why you are blaming someone for something in your life. Every action and every feeling that someone has toward you is a reflection of what you are or were feeling. You attracted this person or situation because of a feeling you were sending out to the Universe. When you start to play the blame game, you will attract more things to blame courtesy of the Law of Attraction. Take responsibility of your hard day and change it. Understand that changing your perception of others and loving yourself will attract more good things into your life.

It can be hard to believe that you somehow created your Aunt Suzy telling you that she saw your girlfriend with another man, and it can be hard not to blame Aunt Suzy or your girlfriend for your misery. But somewhere you were creating the vibrations that accompanied the scenario, whether it be that you were afraid of losing your girlfriend, or you weren’t trusting her, or you just outright felt bad. But blaming the other players in this scenario will not help your circumstance. This will only bring you more to blame others for. Does this mean you have to ignore your pain when hurt by someone? No, just make sure that you stay away from the blaming and take responsibility for your life. Change it to a life that you are happy with.

There is only one person who is responsible for your happiness and that is the person you see every morning in the mirror.

When you take responsibility for your thoughts and feelings, you will attain all that you want through the Law of Attraction.

Let’s discuss the word ‘need’ opposed to ‘want’. Remember, it isn’t the word itself that you are avoiding, it is the feeling attached to the word. When you say that you ‘need’ to buy some groceries, use of the word isn’t going to affect your world by turning it upside down with ‘need’. It’s when you use the word ‘need’ in a sentence like this: I ‘need’ so much money that I don’t ever know how I will pay off these bills! When using the word ‘need’ with feeling attached, you are emphatically expressing what you don’t want to the Universe.

The Universe will act upon your feelings and your ‘don’t wants’ and bring to you exactly what you don’t want which in the example above is money.

When you have expressed such a strong feeling, do your best to change the sentence for yourself. “I may have bills but I know that they will be paid and that is what I ‘want’ so I will trust the Universe in bringing to me just that.”

Then…let it go and just trust the Law of Attraction to work for you. This can be applied to anything that you want to obtain.

Using the word ‘want’ seems to work well. When you tell the Universe that you want something from a positive standpoint, you will receive what you want. Be clear in your wants and concentrate on your ‘wants’ and not your ‘needs’. When you have one of those desperate moments and you bellow out what you need, try to turn it around into a want or desire. This can be done pretty easily and you will see that once you turn it into a positive, it will feel good. Here’s an example: “I want my car to work. I want a perfectly running car. Thanks Universe!” Opposed to: “I need this car. I need everything to run right!” Can you hear the difference in the feeling?

The Universe acts on your feelings and whatever images you have in your mind at that time. So if you have an image of a broken down car in your mind and you are feeling ‘need’, guess what will happen? If you have an image of a broken car fixed and feel trust and faith in the Law of Attraction, the Universe will respond with your want. It’s that simple.

Anytime you feel that you ‘need’ something, it is a ‘don’t want’ and will cause resistance. It’s like you are pushing against what you truly want. When you push against something, you are resisting what you want and the Universe will comply with your command and bring you resistance. If you don’t ‘need’ something and just want it and know you will have it, you are going with the flow. There is no pushing and the Universe will bring you what you want via the Law of Attraction.

The Law of Attraction really is easy to comprehend. By seeing what you want, feeling what you want, and providing no resistance against your desires, you will have your desires. By ’stewing’ and ‘needing’ a desire, you are setting yourself up to receive more to ’stew about’ and ‘need’.

So what will you choose to do? Will you choose to push against your want or ‘go with the flow’ of your want?

If you are a practitioner of the Law of Attraction you know what is best for you in order to obtain what you desire. By knowing just a few little tricks about feelings and certain words, you will be ahead of the game in attaining those wants and desires.

Lee and I are asked a plethora of questions from people just like you everyday, retrieving over one hundred emails each morning with questions about the Law of Attraction. Here are five of the most frequently asked questions we receive (and the answers):

“I’m just one person. How can I change the state of the world through the Law of Attraction?”

You are just one person and one is enough to change the world. We are all a part of the “All.” Every thought you have goes into the consciousness of the all, and when you out send good thoughts, you receive similar vibrations in return. When you visualize a better world, your world will become better but not only that, you are putting out wonderful thoughts and feelings that will help the world situations. Your thoughts can make a difference. More than you will ever know. Just make sure when you put those thoughts out there, they come from a positive stance. Example: You want to be encouraging peace, not anti war. Even though they may seem like the same feeling, they’re not. One is saying what you want, while the other is saying what you don’t want and that comes back ten fold either way.

“My spouse says that the Law of Attraction is just wishful thinking. How do I get him to stop throwing negative remarks at me? Is it just wishful thinking?”

Just because you can’t see the Law of Attraction, doesn’t mean that it doesn’t exist. You can’t see air, but it’s there. Even though you can’t see gravity, you can see the results of it whenever you drop something. The Law of Attraction has produced result after result, proving that it is working in people’s lives. More and more people have been applying the methods of the Law of Attraction and now more people are obtaining what they desire. That being said, it can be difficult to be around a naysayer when you are a colt with new legs.

Don’t buy into his negative remarks.

If you let such remarks upset you, then you are attracting the doubts you are doing your best to eliminate. Let your spouse create the world he wants to live in, and you create your own. When you visualize, perhaps you could see that your spouse is being kind about your beliefs and the joy that it gives you. But don’t push your ideas about the Law of Attraction on your spouse. Never push your world on another person unless they are willing and wanting to hear about it.

“I’ve made many mistakes in my lifetime. I don’t feel that I deserve a good life. What can I do to live the Law of Attraction when I feel this way?”

Many people have made mistakes in their lives. True, some mistakes can seem much worse than others, but remember that the past is the past. And that’s where the past should stay. Learn what you can from your mistake but then move on from it. Sometimes people won’t let you forget about a mistake you made but that is the world that they want to create. You don’t have to be a part of their creation unless you want to. You are just as deserving as the next guy. You are an incredible human being. Everyone is! Just because you made mistakes doesn’t mean that you don’t deserve a wonderful life. Don’t let people (or you) tell you any different.

“Why is it so important to not think about the past in the Law of Attraction?”

This is a misconception. The past can be a beautiful place to find some wonderful feelings but it can also be a place where you can get stuck and relive experiences that create some pretty strong emotions. When you have had a traumatic experience and you can’t get it off your mind and you continually relive that experience over and over again, those strong feelings attract more situations and people to you that match the traumatic vibrations. On the other hand, if you relive an experience that is joyful to you, you will attract situations and people to you that match that joyful experience. It’s not about not thinking of the past, but ‘letting go’ of the traumatic or upsetting experiences so that you don’t attract what you don’t want.

“Can I lose weight through the Law of Attraction?”

In short, yes. Losing weight through the Law of Attraction consists of deconstructing some of the beliefs surrounding your eating habits and reconstructing so that you have the right attitude and mind when you are engaged in losing weight. By tricking what we call the ‘normal’ mind with methods it feels comfortable with, and then sneaking in new thoughts and methods on weight loss, you can lose a significant amount of weight and keep it off. Lee to date has lost over a hundred pounds with the help of the Law of Attraction.

We hope some of your own questions were answered through this. There are an unlimited number of questions out there, just as many answers to them through the Law of Attraction. What’s your question?

You had every intention of having an incredible day. The alarm went off fifteen minutes early, just like you planned, so that you could have a few minutes to visualize your perfect day. You took a nice hot shower and you even told the water how grateful you were that you had water. It’s going to be a great Law of Attraction, happy, happy, joy, joy day.

You heard the quiet drone of the television in your room and the loud remarks coming from your spouse profusely telling the television off. No mind. Your day is going to be just like you envisioned. Your spouse, on the other hand, will just have the day he creates. You decided you won’t be a part of the negative vibe.

You went downstairs and made breakfast. You put out three bowls with cereal on the table and three bottles of water. You shouted up the stairs, “Breakfast, come and get it!” Your child came barreling down the stairs and plopped in front of her bowl. “Mom, I wanted the cereal with chocolate chunks in it,” she blurted. You told her you will pick some up when this cereal is gone, still knowing that you are going to have a great day; but it feels like it started a little weird.

How do you get by living with the negative thoughts and feelings that can fly around the house…not to mention work, especially when you are doing your best to create a wonderful world for you and your family? (And without their help.) Sure, they’re not going to believe their luck when all the money rolls in and life is perfect. Are they going to thank you for all your positive thoughts and feelings that go toward making it happen? If they’d be a little more positive and stop complaining maybe things would get easier. Sheeze!

Now you feel your day is shot. You had woken up in such a wonderful space and already the cynical remarks of the outside world have created a quiver of negative arrows aimed straight for you.

How do you apply the Law of Attraction in a world that is full of cynics and negative remarks? How can you get beyond the feelings of the negative when it feels like everyone around is negative. Even when the remarks are not intentional, they can still rub your nerves raw.

Let’s start with this: You have the power to dismiss all of the negative around you. I know it sounds easier said than done but you can. The people around you, even if you have told them over and over again, are creating their days with cynical or negative remarks. They only become a part of your world when you let them. When you react, whether inwardly or outwardly, you are attracting this situation to yourself again and again.

How do you keep from reacting to the negative? By allowing. Let the people around you create their negative cloud and just observe it. Don’t take part in it. If you are directly asked a negative question, take that time to answer in a way that is not going to upset you, but will keep you allowing the other person to create what they must.

If you are egged into an argument, you really do have the choice not to participate. It is only an argument when two people participate. There is no argument when there is only one speaking. Yes, the other person may feel like he ‘won’ the fight or that he is ‘right’ because you haven’t responded, but here is the trick: When you are being egged on, just observe, don’t participate. There is a big difference between giving someone the ’silent treatment’ and just being observant. The ’silent treatment’ usually means you are madder than a hornet and are punishing the other person. Being observant is not giving in to the part of you that wants to be right and just letting the wave of anger pass beyond you. Then maybe later when there is no ‘egging’ the subject of the conversation can be calmly revisited.

Let’s face it. We are responsible for every day that we have. Our todays create our tomorrows. Our pasts made up our todays. Some part of you created the negative that stopped in for the day and you can change that by allowing and living with ease around all of the negative that you may have attracted. When you allow, and live in ease, you will find that the negative will lessen and there will be more positive coming into your life.

Try it. Next time you have a day that seems to be steered by others’ negative remarks just allow and ‘let go’ of the feeling that builds up inside of you. Continue your day with ease through the Law of Attraction, and your days will become negative free.

Can forgiving someone help you to apply the Law of Attraction intentionally?

Do you have someone that you have a hard time with? Maybe someone who is always late every time you see them? They end up being at least an hour late no matter what the situation. You have a hard time forgiving them for being late and you start to build resentment. All these strong feelings are signaling the Universe to bring you similar feelings back to you. In this case, a resentful feeling. Not forgiving someone can actually slow down the process of obtaining what you want through the Law of Attraction.

Twelve years ago a traumatic experience happened to me. Someone tried to strangle me. The hardest part of this experience was that it was a family member (by marriage) who tried to end my life. At the time, he was on testosterone and had an undiagnosed bi-polar/schizophrenic condition. But even so, this incident traumatized me and my then eleven year old daughter. We handled it as best we could while getting restraining orders, going to the doctor, filling out police paperwork, and taking my daughter to a counselor to help her through the scary experience of seeing her own mother strangled. I had been sheltered by my parents all my life and nothing like this had ever happened in our family. This was no time for forgiveness.

This incident happened before I understood the Law of Attraction and forgiveness was not on my list. My brother-in-law went to jail and I figured my sister would leave him after she saw what he was capable of. I didn’t need to forgive him; he wouldn’t enter into my world ever again. I was wrong. He served his time and my sister went straight back to him. This was something that I would have to deal with. He wasn’t leaving my life and I decided I was not going to be around my sister or her husband ever again.

Not long after this incident I began searching for answers in my life and found the Law of Attraction. What an incredible find! Here was the answer to attaining what I wanted in life.

To intentionally apply the Law of Attraction, I learned that I had to deconstruct who I was and my belief and behavior patterns and build brand new ones. This was going to be exciting. Then I realized that I was going to have to deal with ‘the incident’ and somehow rid myself of the feelings I was harboring.

The incident had left me feeling angry and hurt. My sister hurt me by going back to this man and I was angry with myself for not fighting back. I was hurt from the mental anguish it had caused my daughter, and me, not to mention the physical pain I had experienced after the attack. I felt like this man had taken some of my personal power away. So applying the Law of Attraction, while harboring all these feelings, was going to be an issue. I knew I had to lose the feelings and the only way I knew how was through forgiveness.

You see, it isn’t just about your forgiveness of another. When someone hurts you, it isn’t just you. It is your spouse, your children, your parents, and anyone who is close to you. When you have all those strong angry and hurt emotions it affects everyone. Not to mention instigating emotions of fear.

Apparently my brother in law got help for his bi-polar issues and he stopped the testosterone. This made it a little easier for me to remotely consider forgiveness. Who does the forgiveness help? Out of anyone, it helps the victim. Because once you forgive, you are no longer a victim. I decided that I was going to forgive him, but not the act. My logical mind could handle a little forgiveness for him but not for what he had done. This was a start.

But let me tell you this. When I completely forgave the act and the person, I felt like a new woman. I no longer felt like a victim. I felt like I took my power back and not only that, I felt like I fought back by forgiving. When I released all the hurt and anger and decided I didn’t need it anymore, I could see clear once again. He had nothing on me. It took a little time to release the welled-up emotions but over time, I did.

No more anger flashes, no more hurt flashes. I ‘let go’ of this situation because I am no longer about the woman who was strangled. I am much more than that, and in order to get past that traumatic experience, I had to forgive for myself so that I could move on.

When you don’t forgive someone, you are only hurting yourself. All those angry, scared and hurt feelings are keeping you from being all that you can be in life. It doesn’t mean that you have to hang out with the offender, but it is important to get rid of those strong negative emotions; the ones that could be keeping you from your desires when too much focus is put toward the negative emotions.

Do you have someone you want to forgive?

It is freeing to forgive another, no matter what hurtful act was done. By truly forgiving someone you can move forward in your life. Get beyond ‘the incident’ and ‘let go’ of the strong negative feelings. Concentrate on who you really are and concentrate on your wonderful life without ‘the incident’. Don’t let ‘the incident’ be a crutch to enable you to feel bad. Become a forgiving person and you will soon find that it will be a lot easier manifesting your desires when applying the Law of Attraction.

So you are doing everything that you have read about in applying the Law of Attraction. You’re focusing on your wants and trying not to get upset with your everyday circumstances that just happen. You’re looking for every sign of encouragement that the Universe sends your way. You’re being as patient as you can and you’re visualizing ’til the cows come home. You’re mentally exhausted from watching every thought and feeling that you come across. Now what?

Many people actually feel this way. They try so hard to apply the Law of Attraction and that is actually the problem. They are trying too hard.

The Law of Attraction is really a simple law but being human, we tend to complicate things.

You want to “just be” when using the Law of Attraction intentionally. Get a clear image in your head of what you desire. Create this image as if you are the architect planning a new home construction. Be excited about it and get as focused as possible. Every evening take some time to yourself where you can really focus on your image. Imagine having your desire, imagine what you are wearing, imagine it is happening right now, imagine going through the physical steps of the image, and then… let it go and just be. Putting all that strong feeling intention into your desire has started the motor running. The Universe has a good idea of what you want.

When you wake up in the morning and you have the time, you should focus again upon your desire. But even if you don’t have time for a second round think only of your desire with excitement when you do think of it.

If you begin to think how you don’t have your desire, you are focusing on your ‘don’t want’ and that will bring you what you don’t want. All through the day, when the thought of your desire comes to mind, think of it in the now and with happiness and joy that it is manifesting, and then let go and just be. Make sure that you focus once a day on what it is that you want and if you can focus more, go for it.

Just by having one visualization session a day, your desire will come to you as long as you don’t put any negative toward it. If you are feeling down and you think of your desire, you are sabotaging its arrival. Only think of your desire with joy.

You don’t have to watch every little thought that pops into your head in order for your desire to come to you. Just enjoying your day and expressing gratitude about life will do wonders. Trying too hard and watching every thought is actually attracting situations of control and of trying too hard.

Let the impatience go and let the Universe do its job. Just relax and enjoy life knowing full well the Universe is handling all that needs to be handled in order for you to have what you desire. Your job is to visualize and just be and the Universe’s job is to take care of the how. Let go of the control and micro managing and let the Universe do its job through the Law of Attraction.